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Why is self care challenging?

Have you ever thought, "Why is it so hard for me to care for myself?"

If so, you're not alone.

Because a lot of people want to know what causes lack of self care.

And unfortunately, the first reason self care is so hard for you is:

1. You don't care about yourself enough.

Now I know you might think that sounds crazy.

But it really is the truth for a lot of people.

How many times have you said something along the lines of, "I don't care if I don't get my needs taken care of. But as long as everybody else is good, I'm good."

If your answer is more than a few times, there's a good chance you don't care enough about your own needs.

And that actually leads to the second reason that self care is so hard for you:

2. You think other people are more important than you.

Now that's pretty similar to the first one.

But the difference is that even if you do care about your own needs, you still have other people in your life that you think should come before you.

And if you have kids or even a significant other, I definitely see how you can think that way.

But unfortunately, when you think that way, it does make it harder to care for yourself.

The third reason self care is so hard for you is:

3. You don't know what you need.

It's very possible that you've never experienced what it's like to have your needs being met.

If you were neglected as a kid, and possibly even in relationships, then that's a good sign that you never actually learned what your needs are.

Which obviously means you won't be able to meet them yourself either.

Now before we dive further into this topic, I think it's important that we make sure that we're on the same about what self care is in the first place.

What self care really means.

My definition of self care is "taking actions and making decisions that improve your overall well being."

And the key piece is that those actions and decisions are based on what you know you need in your life.

But with that being said, I think it's also important for you to know why self care is important in the first place.

Why self care is important.

Self care is important for plenty of reasons.

5 benefits of self care:

1. Improved mental health.

A big part of self care is removing things from your life that you don't need, and bringing in more of the things that you do need.

And when you do that, it's only right that your mental health improves as well.

2. Better relationships.

We already talked about how self care involves meeting your own needs.

And once you learn how to meet your own needs, you also get better at meeting other people's needs.

And of course, that naturally leads to better relationships.

3. Higher self esteem.

Self esteem is basically how you feel about yourself.

And when you prioritize taking care of yourself, you naturally start to feel better about yourself overall, the same way you have strong feelings for a baby you take care of.

4. More confidence.

The thing about self care is that it requires you to get crystal clear on what you do want and what you don't want in your life.

And the more you prioritize that, the more you learn to speak up so you can get what you want, and reject what you don't want.

And that naturally creates more confidence.

5. More overall fulfillment in life.

At the end of the day, the more you have your basic needs met in life, the less you have to worry about them.

And the less you have to worry about your basic needs, the more you can focus on other things.

So because of all that, you become a more well rounded person, and you start to feel more fulfilled overall.

So if you really wanna improve yourself and become the best version of yourself, it's 100% imperative that you learn how to prioritize self care.

So with that being said, at this point you might be wondering "How do I start caring for myself more?"

How do I start caring for myself more?

If you want to learn how to start caring for yourself more, the first thing you gotta do is take some time to figure out what you need.

It's easy for me to tell you about what I think about self care.

But my question to you is, what does self care mean to you?

Once you get clear on all that, you can start making some self care goals.

And if you need some help with that, a few self care examples you can try include:

• Working out
• ​Journaling​
• Going to sleep
• Cooking your favorite meal
• Watching a tv show you like
• Taking a bath or a shower
• Going for a walk outside
• Playing with your kids
• Reading the bible

As you can see, anything that gives you life and fills up your cup can be treated as self care.

Self care is not selfish.

And one last tip I can give you is that self care is not selfish.

Even if you have other people that you have to take care of, it's still ok for you to take care of yourself too.

Taking care of yourself doesn't mean you have to neglect everybody else 24/7.

If you can take just 10-15 minutes to do something for yourself every single day, and do that for a whole year, I promise you'll see a big difference.

And the crazy thing about all that is, when you don't prioritize taking care of yourself, you can't do the best job of taking care of the other people you're taking care of.

But when you do prioritize self care, you can show up better for the people you love.

So don't let yourself think the small actions don't add up.

Because I promise you, they do.

Real talk.